Picture of Hope
by Marz
Summary: TaitoYamachi Tai has walked out of Matt’s life and their love without explanation. Has he just grown tired of his lover or is something—or someone else pulling the strings?
1. Matt

**A/N:** Hey, there. College is out for the summer, so I'm guessing you've all been expecting more frequent updates. Sorry to disappoint. I've wanted to write so badly, to create something new, but I just haven't been able to. My hands have been itching to do something, but the words just aren't coming. I can't think of a single thing to write and it's driving me insane! This story has been hanging around for a few years, so I'm hoping that by revising and posting it the creative juices will start flowing again. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone, but be assured that I'm as disappointed as the rest of you, if not more so.

Anyway, like I said, this story is quite a few years old, so pardon me if it's not one of my best. I fancy myself as a fan of Taito (where Tai's the dominant one), but I also like to see the more vulnerable side of him. Tai-angst, I suppose you could say. This story is all about Tai-angst. In light of this, I'm not sure whether this should be considered a Taito or a Yamachi. I like Tai to be seme, but he's been traumatized so Matt's gotta be the strong one for now. Let me know what I should label it as.

The prologue is really short, I know, but it's just meant to set up the story. Hence the name prologue, I suppose…Whatever. Let me know what you think and enjoy! Thanks!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Digimon. Also, this fic was inspired by another author, so I guess I can't claim complete originality. I'd love to give credit where credit is due, however, I have no idea who wrote it, so I can't. I don't even know if the story was ever finished or not since I haven't been able to find it. I just remember reading the beginning (which was a lot like my prologue) and being sad that there wasn't anymore. So, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, let me know. Thanks.

**Summary: **Tai walked out of Matt's life and their love without explanation. Has he just grown tired of his lover or is something—or someone else pulling the strings?

**Pairing: **Tai/Yamato or Yamato/Tai. Read A/N for explanation.

Picture of Hope

Prologue  


-Matt-

Sometimes I've wondered about the paths my life has taken. Not in the past few months, however. The past few months have been the best months of my life! It was in these past few months that Tai and I fell in love.

The time following the admittance of our feelings was pure bliss for me. I was in my own personal heaven. We were inseparable for the time we were in love, and it was wonderful. Things couldn't have been better.

That is, until the night Tai didn't come home. By that time we were living together and his absence was felt throughout the entire apartment. I stayed up the whole night, worrying and wondering where he was. The sun had just started to rise when he finally opened the door looking like death itself. My first instinct was to embrace, then throttle him. Before I could act I saw the look in his eyes—a look I'll never forget.

"Tai?" I had asked, not liking what I saw.

Without a word he stepped forward and took me in his arms. "I'm sorry," he had whispered. "I love you." He looked into my eyes, gave me a final kiss, wiped his eyes, and walked out of my life.

- - -

There it is. Chapter One should be up shortly, as soon as it's typed up and revised and such. Since the entire story has already been written, hopefully these updates won't be pathetically spaced out. Anyway, reviews would be much appreciated. Thanks a bunch!


	2. Tai

**A/N: **I'm back already! I told you this wouldn't take too long. Well, this chapter, anyway. How the others go is anyone's guess. Sorry that the prologue was so ridiculously short. While I'm at it, I might as well apologize for all these chapters being short. I actually added a bunch of stuff to the original copy, so it's longer than it was. I don't know what I'm going to do for the others, so…yeah. Anyway, here it is and enjoy!

Picture of Hope

Chapter One

-Tai-

Tai fell back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. He lay there, cursing himself and his existence with everything he had. He knew there was absolutely nothing he could do about the situation he was in and hated himself for it. There wasn't one moment that passed by that he didn't hate himself. He hated the position he was in, he hated the fact he could do nothing, he hated everything about himself and his life. But most of all, he hated Eidan.

"Tai! Come down here!" a voice called from below him.

The brunet groaned. "I'm coming," he called back. He muttered obscenities as he made his way down the spiral staircase and into the dining room. "Yes?"

An aged man sitting at the table turned his head toward him, smiling sweetly. "Tai," he greeted. "Come and join me."

Tai said nothing, taking a seat across the table from him.

The man sighed, setting down the newspaper he had been reading before Tai's entrance. "Come now, Tai, don't be like that. Is it really that awful to be with me?"

Tai raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Would I have asked if I didn't?" the other male retorted.

The brunet sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Yes. I despise every moment I spend with you and you know that perfectly well. Being here is killing me," he said bluntly.

The man smiled indulgently, smoothing out the wrinkles in the paper before him. "You've always been a dramatic one." He raised hardened eyes to lock with the pair directly in front of him. "Would you rather the alternative?"

Tai looked away and bowed his head submissively. "No. I've done everything you've asked of me so you have no reason to do anything."

The man relaxed and leaned backward. "You're right, of course. You've been here a year already and you've done everything perfectly. It was a little rough in the beginning, of course, due to your…provocative nature, but you've since seen reason. I trust it shall stay that way." He looked pointedly at his companion.

"It will," Tai said softly, eyes still averted. "May I go back to the room?"

The older man watched him thoughtfully, seeming to mull something over in his mind. "Yes, you may," he said suddenly. "Why don't you slip into something a bit more…comfortable?"

Suppressing his tears and the urge to shudder, Tai nodded and stood, pushing his chair back toward the table. He bowed, uttered a soft, "Yes, Eidan," and went back upstairs.

The man, Eidan, watched him leave the room, his eyes glued hungrily to the younger man's retreating form. _I couldn't have asked for a better…toy…_

- - - One year passes - - -

Tai stood completely still as Eidan straightened his jacket. "Now that you've been with me for two years, I've decided that I've broken you enough where I can bring you out in public. Aren't you happy?"

_Oh, joy,_ Tai thought to himself. _It's just what I've always wanted._ Keeping his face perfectly neutral he replied, "Yes, Eidan."

Satisfied by his response, Eidan smiled. "Good. Now, you are not to leave my side unless given permission. Is that understood?"

Tai just nodded.

Nodding to himself, the older man stopped fussing and looked the brunet over critically. Deciding Tai looked presentable, he turned and started to head for the car. Tai followed behind obediently, climbing in the passenger seat. He said nothing as Eidan started the car, knowing the silence wouldn't last long.

As he stared listlessly out the window, Tai's hand slowly made his way to the breast pocket of his jacket. He felt a sense of relief when he felt the crinkle of a piece of paper. _Thank Kami. I thought I'd forgotten it._ Still turned away from Eidan, Tai closed his eyes, the pictures the piece of paper held easily coming to mind. He had looked at it so many times, he didn't need to actually see it to recall what the paper held.

He felt a calm wash over him as he stared at the picture in his mind's eye. The paper had pictures on either side of it. On one side was the picture of all the original Digidestined in the Digital World. That picture was taken with Kari's camera when they met up with Andromon. On the second side was the other picture he treasured with all his heart. That side held a picture of him and Matt.

Being the little photographer that she is, Kari had snuck up on them while they were sitting together on the couch. Tai sat with his back up against the arm of the couch, Matt sitting in between his outstretched legs, back resting comfortably against Tai's chest. Matt held a magazine which Tai was looking over his shoulder to see; Tai had his chin resting on the blonde's shoulder, while Matt was turned to look at him. The part of the picture Tai loved the most was the look on Matt's face. Matt was smiling the smile only Tai was ever allowed to see. Tai knew Matt only smiled like that when he was completely relaxed and happy. That smile was full of raw emotion, all for Tai.

Tai couldn't count how many times that picture had saved his life. So many times over the past two years Tai had thought about ending it all, not letting Eidan have his sick pleasure. A few times he had even gotten to the point where the knife was hovering above his wrists, or the pills were already in his hand. But when he'd go to complete the action, the picture would flash through his mind. He'd see the faces of all the people he'd be leaving behind. Kari, Joe, Izzy, Sora, Mimi, TK…Matt…And then he'd see the other side of the paper. Matt's face would appear before his eyes, smiling the smile only for him. He could never go through with it. He just couldn't give up hope that one day he'd find his way back to Matt.

He knew he was being foolish to even hope that Matt still wanted him. After all, it was he who walked out without an explanation. He knew he had broken Matt's heart and couldn't find it within himself to blame Matt for moving on. He knew Matt deserved someone better. Still, he knew he couldn't—_wouldn't_ forget the blonde who would always hold his heart.

The brunet stifled a sigh and willed the tears that had sprung to his eyes away. It wouldn't do for Eidan to catch him crying, especially over Matt.

However, Eidan seemed to read his thoughts. "Can't you forget about him?" he asked crossly. "It's been two years already. He's not in your life anymore. Besides, even if you somehow found him again, do you really think he'd still want you? After all, _you_ walked out on _him_."

Tai whirled around to face him, a fire appearing in his eyes that hadn't been there for a long time. Eidan had struck his last nerve. He knew all that! He didn't need Eidan telling him what he already knew. "I didn't have a choice!" But he decided to fight back anyway.

"Ah, but he doesn't know that, now does he?" Eidan asked smugly. "Face it, Tai. I'm the only one who wants you now."

Tai didn't know whether he wanted to cry or try to strangle the man with his own neck-tie. Probably both. Instead, he sat in silence until Eidan announced their arrival. His lack of enthusiasm changed once he realized exactly where he was. He looked around in wonder, trying to place what part of the city he was in. _Home…_

Eidan grabbing his arm startled him out of his reverie. "You'll have plenty of time for sight-seeing later. Right now I have an appointment to keep so hurry up."

Tai kept pace with the man easily. _Could he possibly not know that this is where Matt and I lived together?_ he questioned himself with amazement.

Lost in his own thoughts, he was again startled as he was suddenly yanked into a building. He thanked Kami for his soccer-built reflexes that kept him on his feet.

Eidan led him through a maze of hallways before they finally reached the waiting room they were looking for. Needless to say, Tai was sufficiently lost by the time they sat down to wait to be summoned.

"Mr. Kamcha will see you now," the secretary told them sweetly.

Eidan dragged Tai up with him and stood in front of the door, waiting for the previous client to be let out.

Finally the door opened and the previous client stepped out. Tai's heart almost stopped.

"Matt?" he choked.

The blonde head shot up and whirled in his direction. Their eyes locked for a moment before Eidan started dragging Tai from the room.

- - -

There's chapter one. Suspenseful enough for you? Hope so. This is going well, so hopefully chapter two will be up in the not-so-distant future. Reviews are always welcome! Thanks a bunch!


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